


"You."

by kategkateg



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Best Friends, Cheesy, Confession, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gaming, Gentle, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phil and Dan, Piano, Sad!Dan, School, Sweet, Videogames, friends - Freeform, romantic, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 10:31:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kategkateg/pseuds/kategkateg
Summary: AU where Dan dedicates a song to Phil and it ends just okay.P.s. It’s not proofread





	"You."

Dan has always been like this. He would sit in silence when everyone would scream and go crazy, he would tease his piano when something would tear him apart. He was quiet and soft, just a boy who was too small for the whole world around him. Dan was only 17 but he already felt like he has lived just enough to write those books without proper ending that make you feel empty for weeks after finishing them. His life wasn’t a mess, but he was. His family was nice and non-judging but Howell was always thinking too much. There were questions with no answer, there were thoughts with no sense and full of sense at the same time. It was just Dan in his usual clothes way darker than other teenagers would wear.

***

Phil was sitting on his desk in their history class casually chatting with their classmates. The new game is coming out soon and a lot of people were quite excited about it.

“I can’t wait to see the graphics! People say that this will be amazing.” Jacob, standing next to Phil, has been talking about this game for a good week and Dan was wondering how on earth Lester could cope with it.

“I know right,” Phil said with that tongue-out smile. “I and Dan have already pre-ordered it so we will have a big gaming night on the day of its release”.  Dan just pulled out one of his headphones and started to listen properly because no way someone could interrupt them on a day like this.

“Oh, that would be perfect,” Jacob said but Phil moved his eyes to Dan just a moment earlier so before Jacob could continue he just brushed him off. “Yeah but it’s our tradition and I’m sorry but we can’t invite you. I hope you understand.” Jacob just smiled back and said that he wasn’t even going to ask because Phil and Dan were always spending their time together. Dan just released a quiet sigh and slightly pulled Phil’s sleeve. _Thank you._ Phil just looked at him, grinned and jumped down from desk to take his seat before the start of their class.

***

Their game night just ended and Phil was washing their glasses while Dan was preparing his room for them both to sleep in because of course, Phil was staying for this weekends. Dan’s parents really liked Phil because he seemed to be the only one who could make Dan cry laughing. The whole new story is that Phil was probably the only person left who could make Dan cry.

Dan was thinking about his best friend constantly and he knew it wasn’t right. He might even accept that he has a crush on Phil. Or he is trying to convince himself that it was just a crush. Since twelve Howell was thinking about this universe, about people. He’s been asking himself why do people try to save each other if this action is against nature – kill or be killed. He was thinking about religion and why do people believe in God. He was thinking that death is rather exciting because you never know what’s next. Dan would never choose to be immortal because he thinks that it’s the worst thing that can possibly happen to anyone – watch your friends and family slowly die over and over again not being able to do anything. When he said that to Phil he just hugged him and they fell asleep without a word because they just knew that words were not necessary. Dan was overthinking and he thought it was a problem. Phil didn’t.

Phil was there at 4 am on a Wednesday morning before their finals because Dan had a breakdown. Phil was there when Dan realized that he was bisexual and he was nothing but supportive. Phil was the sunshine, he was a rainbow after an acid rain, he was kind and bright and Dan felt a lot of new things every day just being next to him even if he thought that his heart was frozen years ago. They were completely opposite and Dan felt like he was drowning and pulling his hope down with him, he felt like he was burying Phil alive.

Dan was playing the piano so often but Phil was never asking about the name of the song. Dan thought it was a good thing because he couldn’t say that Phil’s favourite song was called “you” and was written by Dan. Dan has written a lot of different things but this one was a pure masterpiece. He wrote this one when he was trying to get through his feelings and it kind of helped him with hiding them but he still felt bad when Phil was talking to someone. Howell used to see that smirk on Lester’s lips addressed to him, he used to those warm eyes looking at him when he was talking about his opinions on every single thing around him. He didn’t felt betrayed or abandoned when it wasn’t about him, it just felt right and Dan didn’t want to think that it was just Phil as he is, he would better think that there was something about that brown-haired depressive boy that made his friend’s eyes sparkle.

Howell was playing “Defying Gravity” when Phil walked in wearing Dan’s oversized red hoodie that looked perfect on him in a contrast with his jet black hair. Dan thought that it’s completely fine to be in love with two deep seas but he didn’t think that sometimes there is amber under the water. Phil closed the door behind him and sat next to Dan on his extra-long piano chair. It felt too usual to be fine but they both loved it. Dan loved the way how he could see the Phil that no one ever could see and Phil loved the way how Dan’s long thin fingers could run around his keyboard making such a beautiful melody. Their parents used to say that they were already married but it always seemed like only Dan wished it to be true. It wasn’t just a stupid crush for no reason, no. A friend is one who believes in you even when you have ceased to believe in yourself and Phil was his friend. He is his friend. They were sitting together, Phil has landed his head on Dan’s shoulder and it was nice to relax after their intense gaming evening. Suddenly Phil’s phone beeped but he didn’t even get it out of his pocket. Well, actually he was wearing Dan’s pyjama pants but after all these years it felt like Phil has his own space inside of Howell’s wardrobe. He probably has.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Dan asked, coming to the ending of the song. “No.” Phil didn’t even move his head. “I feel special,” Howell said with a slight smile on his face. “You are.” Simply responded Phil and it made Dan’s heart warm and his cheeks a bit red. Phil always says things like that and even if it’s hard for Dan to believe in them he still appreciates his friend’s effort to make him smile. Dan didn’t know why but this day felt not as good as any others. You know how it goes – you can feel so sad and exhausted and have literally no reason for things to be like that. Dan thought that one day he would see his dear Phil with someone and that person would be special, not this boy with Lester’s head resting on his shoulder. They were still sitting in silence because Dan’s fingers were a little tired but he knew that Phil adored his playing so he decided to perform with his favourite in conclusion. Howell was playing and thinking that he wasn’t ready to lose Phil but he has been hiding and pretending for years so maybe it would be good to tell him. But then Phil’s weight reminded him that they have built this friendship together and it would be the worst thing to ruin everything just because of his weird mood.

“How did you call it?” Phil asked and Dan’s brain instantly got frozen. He couldn’t lie to his friend but he just decided that it wasn’t the best time to come out so he tried to avoid this question, “How did you know that it’s mine?” Dan felt Phil’s smile with his shoulder. “It feels like you. Whatever that means.” Black-haired said and lifted his head up staring at his friend. He could see some panic in his friend’s hazel eyes and that made him even more curious. Dan’s playing was nearly over and he decided to go all in even if it’s going to be extremely cheesy. Phil’s his best friend and he will understand. It’s better to deal with everything right now than wait another year or maybe even a couple of them. You have to trust your best friend, right? So Dan was trying to. “You,” Dan said getting to the finale and just as he predicted Phil asked him again. “What?” Lester seemed to be confused so Dan already started to regret those unspoken words that he was going to say. “The song. It is called “you”.” Dan said just a moment after he had finished playing. He looked at Phil’s eyes and smiled. “you.”.

Phil just smiled back and Howell knew that he was waiting for his explanation. “I wrote this that night when you came. Before our finals. This song is.. Er.. the only thing that I’m not able to tell you. I just can’t.” Dan said. He was blushing and trying to hide his eyes from Phil’s because he was afraid to see the judgment inside of them. Of course, Phil figured everything out and Howell wouldn’t be surprised if Phil decided to leave. Dan’s heart started to beat maybe too fast when he realized that Phil was cupping his chin trying to meet his eyes.  They were unbelievably close and Dan was on the edge of having a panic attack. He lifted his head up to meet his friend’s eyes but he met his lips instead.

Dan didn’t feel any of those butterflies of fireworks. He was failing, crashing, going down. It felt like an avalanche just went down from his shoulders and it was all right. He felt like there was a garden growing up inside of his chest and there probably were a lot of Phil’s favourite cactuses and primroses. Dan and Phil have been close to kiss each other so many times but none of them thought that it would be that easy to stop swimming around in circles. They have a long night, their pyjamas and the warmth of properly finding each other for the first time in their lives.


End file.
